A Series of Unfortunate Subway Events

FinaleI have the usual “first time on the subway” story, in which I was confused, it was rush hour, and I didn’t know the subway at all. So my friend, who was introducing me to NYC, got on a train and I did not, but that wasn’t a big deal. People get confused, and then you figure the subway out. I started to realize I might be a bit unlucky though when the stories kept piling up.

One time when I was on the subway, someone came on with a large can of Pringles and threw them at me. Another time someone opened up a soda bottle behind me, and I thought the person was throwing up all over my back. In that instance I was thankful because then at least it wasn’t vomit. However, my coat was ruined and I was incredibly sticky. Several times the Upper East Side Spitter has really hauled back and spat a lougey at me. The time that really sticks out is when a man was wearing the ‘Scream’ mask in my subway car and the train was stopped underground because the police needed to search it for a fugitive. I obviously thought it must be the creepy man in the mask. It wasn’t, but I also don’t know who it really was either.

Sometimes I think I’m unlucky so often because when I do get lucky I earned it. For instance, when I lost my wallet in New Jersey, someone mailed it back to me with everything inside of it. “Everything” consisted of two hundred dollars, my credit cards, and three unused monthly metro passes! I still lost my shoe in a cab the next week though–shoe. Not both shoes. One shoe. I’ve never seen it since.

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